My first Toast as a Toastmaster

I've done a bunch of speeches so far, at least 15 in manuals, and a few that I've done without getting manual credit.

However, today Sunday 6/23, was my first time giving a Toast at a wedding!

My step-daughter got married up in Denver, 10 years to the day from their first date. The ceremony itself was classy, touching and relatively brief.

During the reception, they made more time for speeches that you might normally expect during a wedding. I was included in the list of people that could speak if they wanted.

I've said it not that long ago: I am not at the point in Toastmasters where I stand up and say I want to speak. I still had to push myself to take on opportunities. I guess that has now changed: I really am a dedicated Toastmaster now: I wanted the chance to add my voice praising their union.

I think I'm getting a little too confident though, as I wrote the speech on the ride up there. I knew I was comfortable with being able to offer some thoughts off the top of my head, but I did want to do something more. I didn't want to put on a comedy act, or embarrass them or give long stories of how I knew them. I wanted to give some sort of story or inspirational thoughts.

I wanted my thoughts to give them some positive advice for their marriage. And yet I wondered to myself: who am I to give marriage advice? I could talk about some things to avoid. I could share with them warning signs of problems. Yet who would want that as a wedding toast? That is not positive. Thus, I needed an idea that would give them strength and positive thoughts.

As I sat there in the back of the car, with conversation ebbing and flowing around me, staring at the blank paper, with the pen in my hand, it didn't take long for a thought to come to me. It was a vision of waves on an ocean shore. Yet, how did it tie in? What did this have to do with a wedding in the hot, dry, fire-burdened Colorado?

Instead of rejecting it outright, I let the idea flow. The scene moved to the sand. How is a marriage like sand I wondered? Grains of sand can be like relationship - with connections forming and passing, like friendships coming and going with wind and waves moving some apart. Yet sand can stick together, perhaps in elegant sand castles. Yet even sand castles are not permanent.

However, there is a way sand can be permanent: when it is heated and becomes glass. This happens in nature, around volcanoes, called obsidian. This was used for weapons and tools in the past.

Glass can be thought of as delicate, distorting and cloudy. And yet it can be strong, like the pair - the couple - of panes of glass in an automobile windshield, or even bullet-proof-glass. It can be beautiful, like an etched crystal wine glass, able to ring out with a strong tone.

Then I realized that there was a strong, ornate use for glass: an hourglass! Reusing the sand from above, filling the timekeeper. I spoke about how it is important not to get caught worrying too much about the sand above, for the future, and not to dwell too much on the sand of the past. Instead, while keeping an eye on the future, make sure to pay attention to the sand passing through the center - the important moments in your life.

I though of how the marriage can be like a forge, bonding the sand together.
I wished the couple the strength, beauty and transparency that glass can represent.

I managed to do the speech without notes. I still need to work on making my conclusions more powerful and connected to the topics I presented. But overall, I was very pleased by my toast. The newly married couple also noted their appreciation afterward. That was the best reward!

I was happy and honored to be able to share that day with them, and be able to share in the nice way with the skills Toastmasters has allowed me to significantly improve.